Update: I wrote this article about a month ago, but I never published it. In light of Steve Ballmer stepping down, I thought it might be appropriate to publish it now so that we may understand why Mr. Ballmer is "retiring" (forced out).
It seems like every few months I write a new article on Microsoft regarding yet another bad business move. Well, why change what your good at. So here we are a few months removed from my last installment of "The Tech Titanic" and of course the good old boys in Redmond dropped there latest bomb of ineptitude. But this one is so bad that I really didn't have a choice, and no I'm not delusional I don't thing the Ballmer and his cronies actually read my posts, that would require reading. But after my last article where I compared Microsofts's current business model to that famous sinking vessel that we all know, I thought maybe I need to cut Ballmer and his boys a break, and I vowed, silently, to not do another "the sky is falling" article. Well, I lied, but only to myself. But Redmond, apparently I'm not the only one lying to myself, am I.
Look, bad is bad and wrong is wrong, and in MS's case wrong is worth over 30 billion in value. Yes, the SS Redmond is indeed a lot lighter after the latest fiasco that left approximately 6 million RT tablets chillin' in a warehouse. The estimated value about $900 million dollars. So let's put this into some perspective, shall we. Since most of us will never see $900 million dollars, ever. Let's see if we can give an example of what happened here. Let's say you work for a major retail chain, and you work on register. At the end of your shift you count down your drawer and it's $9000 dollars short . Well, your fired and you should probably get a lawyer. But then again in your job you can't mistakes year after year without someone asking, "what the **** are you doing"? No, in the real world where real money and monopoly money looks nothing alike, you would be fired and your boss mite be fired with you, and if I'm your boss I mite kick your ass in the parking lot, but that's just me. But Microsoft has suffered the financial equivalent of an ass kicking, as investors dropped MS's stock like it came with a free edition of Windows 8. What, too soon?
So how did this the world's largest software company screw up so bad?
One word...ego. Microsoft and apparently the Los Angeles Lakers suffer from the same chronic disorder. Their companies are being run into the ground by clueless, ego-maniacs. ***Rant Alert*** Yes, it time to get down to business. Ballmer, if I am wrong and you actually can read, then I invite you to read several of my articles that I posted last year after I began testing Windows 8. I warned you that this was not going to work. I warned you again when you decided to make the RT and Pro tablet that the shit was overpriced. But you didn't listen, did you? OK, maybe you don't like me, but I wasn't alone in my assessment of Win 8 and it's psycho evil twin Metro, excuse me....Modern UI (is that better). In fact most early reviews had the same tone, confused. I tried to give you the good along with the ugly, buy now, it's just ugly. There is no redemption for Windows Phone 8 or whatever it's called, you were too late to the tablet war-- sorry wars over, and my desktop looks like skittles threw up on it. It has been an awesomely strange year, right.
I could go into all the the wrong turns that have been made here, but I kinda already did that. What I will do is pose a few questions to the MS board of directors. Question 1: What the **** does a man have to do to be forced into retirement around here? Question 2: Can a company have so much money that it causes them to loose their damn collective minds? Ummm, that's actually more of a statement. My bad. Question 3: Were there people running around on the Titanic thinking the ship was not sinking even as all of their stuff was floating away? Probably so, and I think think that mite be the same problem that Microsoft is having. The I'm too big and too awesome to fail syndrome. Here is the problem with big things, they die or sink slowly but they can and do fail. Ask RIM, who is not dead yet, but the fat lady and grim reaper are all hanging out in their lobby.
I know what your saying, 30 billion dollars is like sock money to Microsoft, but if you were the CEO of company that just lost that kind of value shouldn't you at least be squeamish about your job. Steve Ballmer was handed the keys to a top of the line luxury vehicle and he has proceeded to cut the roof, put some big funky ass rims on it, trim it with Christmas lights with a horn that plays "Move Bitch" in English and Espanyol . It is official, Microsoft is a mess and the biggest problem is the roadmap calls for more of the same. The heyday of the PC is over, and in a little over a year, tablets will officially outsell PC's. That is a problem for company who has ,maybe, a 2% share in that market. Throw in the 3% share in the mobile market, and products that people like, but not enough to actually buy them, and now you have panic mode in Redmond. Yes Redmond, it is time to panic. That bump you heard was your company falling after tripping over your CEO's massive ego. It time to actually listen to the people because we kinda of told you we not buying the whole Metro thing. Remember the Zune? Same BS different devices.
Look Ballmer, I get it. The Metro or Modern UI line of devices was your stamp. Finally an opportunity to officially be out of Bill's shadow. It's rough following a legend. But there just one problem, we like his stuff and yours, not so much. You need a motto. How about, "WWBD". What would Bill do? Steve, I'm only trying to help.
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